Naomi: Recovered From Depression, Orpah: Returned to Rituals, Ruth: Loyal Friend, Follower of God

"In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion." 

Ruth 1:1,2 (ESV)

The Book of Ruth is relevant for us today. There are three personalities in this short book that are either like us or people we know. They struggled with much the same issues as we still do to this very day; loss, depression, life’s choices, and friendships.

The multi-layered messages written in it’s pages are applicable to our relationships, and /or life’s problems in general. Of course, this is true for the rest of the Bible, as well. Its teachings are timeless.

When I started this blog, I just wanted to focus in on Naomi. She points the way for many of us on how to overcome depression. This subject is the primary focus of my blog.

However, within a few verses I begin to see the other two dominate personalities emerge from the pages. They were Naomi’s daughters-in-law, Orpah, and Ruth. These two women were Moabites who lived in a country where cult rituals were practiced.

The Book of Ruth is only four chapters long from beginning to end. I want to encourage you to read it for yourself. Especially, since I’m only going to skim over it and hit the highlights. It’s found in The Old Testament of the Bible.

The first people we’re introduced to are Elimelech and his wife Naomi. She plays a pivotal role throughout this eloquent story.

Naomi was healed of depression near the end of this story. But, in the middle of the story her two daughters-in-law come into focus. Ruth, of course, plays a more dominate role through the rest of this book. This is why I’ve included a brief look into each of their lives.

Let’s find out how Naomi received her mental-health healing. And how she influenced these two younger foreign women.

The name, Naomi means happiness, and patience. And it sounds like her life, at first, reflected these qualities. But much later she wanted to change her name to Mara, which means bitterness (1:20).

What happened that would want Naomi to change her name from happiness to bitterness? Then, back to her being happy and contented.  When I realized that she had experienced a mental health healing I knew I had to study and share my insights about her.

The time frame of this story is early 1000 B.C. Naomi and her husband Elimelech had moved to the country of Moab with their two sons from the Jewish town of Bethlehem.

Bethlehem at that time was located in the present day country of Israel. For most of Israel’s history to this present day the Jewish people worship the one true God they commonly call Yahweh or Jehovah. And they observe all the laws that were written by Moses.

The Jews that practice their faith have other holy names for God, depending on the situation. They also have an exact diet that’s based on Leviticus. They were the first to receive the ten commandments to live by.

Now, Moab was completely opposite.  Their culture was saturated with practicing meaningless rituals to  their pagan idols. They practiced a licentious lifestyle that knew no bounds.  They, also sacrificed their infants to the god Molech. Maybe that’s why they no longer exist.

But, for a century or so this country did exist and is mentioned multiple times in the Bible. It was west of Israel and across the Dead Sea. Today this country is called Jordan.

When Naomi and her family left Bethlehem they had to travel about 100 miles to farm in Moab. To get there they either had to cross the Dead Sea or travel up and around it. Neither route was an easy one to take.

This young family did have high hopes that they would prosper in Moab. After all, Bethlehem was experiencing a drought. And, Moab was lush, green, and known as a place of many oasis.

Even with the better farming conditions it’s still odd that an orthodox Jewish couple that practiced a monogamous marriage would choose Moab to raise their two sons in. Why didn’t they just move to another part of Israel? Well, I can’t answer that question, but it is puzzling.

I’m sure they experienced culture shock when they arrived at their new country.  I, being a military wife have also experienced culture shock at least once in a severe way.  When my husband Jeff was assigned to Turkey for three years in the mid 1980’s, our three young daughters and I went with him to live there. Turkey is almost the opposite of everything I’ve always been use to.

Fortunately, we lived on an American military base so our culture shock was minimized. But, back then we had to be careful about eating off base because some of their cultural farming and cooking habits would give Americans Hepatitis A. I’ve been told that things have changed for the better there now.

We did get off base many times, though during our three years there. But, I went from driving anywhere I needed to go in Germany to barely driving at all during our three years there. Still, we tried to live as normal of a routine as was possible.

Well, we don’t know why this Jewish family moved to a completely opposite culture, and religion. But not long after moving there Naomi’s husband Elimelech passes away.

She and her sons decided to stay on in Moab. By this time both boys had become men. And they took wives from the Moabites. Then the five of them lived there for about ten more years. No children are mentioned being born to either couple. Then, the sons pass away. All these events take place within the first chapter.

"These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband." Ruth 1:4,5

Naturally, she felt waves deep depression moving over her from losing all her immediate family members. Plus, there could’ve been other problems she had to face being the matriarch of the family, which made her also in charge of the farm.

Her grief was compounded by not having any extended family around to emotionally support her during this time. She felt isolated from her Jewish roots as well. She longed to go back to live among her people and she was ready to take the risks of traveling to get there.

Once her mind was made up she saw no need putting off taking this long difficult trip. When she could get back to Bethlehem she would have help and emotional support from her relatives there.

But, before she did anything, I believe that Naomi made sure that she was in God’s will over moving back. When she was certain that it was, then she was ready to put His plan into action. Now at first, the two women wanted to go with her. However, she wanted to go alone. So she passed a blessing on to them.

“Go, return each of you to her mother's house. May the Lord deal kindly with you,...Then she kissed them," 1:8,9.

This is similar to Isaac seeking to pass a blessing on to his oldest son Esau.

"..my soul may bless you before I die.” Genesis 27: 4b

I believe, also that Naomi missed her worship services in Bethlehem. There she was able to worship God with other Jewish believers. The men and women gathered in their respective places either in the Synagogue or wherever they gathered in their villages to hear the Torah read aloud on their Shabbat.  Doing this would’ve helped restore and heal her emotions.

"I was glad when they said to me, “Let us go to the house of the Lord!'” Psalm 122:1

One thing that I’ve done on a regular basis for decades now is to read a chapter or two in my Bible as a daily habit. Bible study whether it’s in a group or on my own is a part of my mental-wellness plan. The insight I’ve gain strengthens my mental well-being.

As a matter of fact I’m going to interject some of my own recovery habits I practice that have helped me in overcoming depression. Hopefully I won’t chase  too many rabbit trails in doing this. I simply want to direct you to sources that I believe will help you achieve mental-wellness.

Just like Naomi, millions of other people down through the ages including me have and will continue to experience depression. Don’t leave depression untreated. There are some effective cures that are being used to treat this form of mental illness.

I see Naomi as a realist, and a pragmatist. She saw life as it is, not how she wished it to be. Once she made a plan to do something then she became resolute in carrying it out. And that was because it was the most practical plan. That way of her solving both hers and the family problems had always worked out in the past, so she saw no need to change things.

Before the women left Moab each woman would’ve had some fresh water in a gourd or dried animal organ, also some roasted grain, and dried fruit for stamina and quick energy. That’s what they called “travel food.”

After gathering up their small bundles the three women start out on this arduous journey together. But they hadn’t gone far when Naomi takes the leadership role and says:

"But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother's house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me." 1:8

Naomi was a woman with a strong will. Very much like my own mother who faced many difficult challenges in her life, but yet always did her best to keep our family of seven intact, well fed with her home cooked meals, and still always worked outside our home. We three girls pitched in and helped her with laundry and meal prep. But, Mom was the glue that held our family together.

Naomi  had been the glue that held her family together and she made sure that all Jewish holy days had been observed while they lived in Moab. How do I know that? At the time of their departure Ruth told Naomi that she wanted to follow her God.

Ruth could’ve said her deceased husband’s god, but instead she said “your God” to Naomi. This tells me that Naomi had taken time to disciple her two daughters-in-law about the one true God.

Now when Naomi said her goodbys to these two younger women something significant took place at that dusty crossroads. Let’s find out exactly what happened.

A Brief Look At Orpah

 As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. Matthew 13: 20-22

It didn’t take long for Orpah to change her mind and return to a hedonistic lifestyle. But why would she go back to a pagan culture where her firstborn would be sacrificed to the angry god Molech? She knew that the Jewish people were forbidden to incorporate the god Molech into their worship.

"to offer up their sons and daughters to Molech, though I did not command them, nor did it enter into my mind, that they should do this abomination," Jeremiah 32:35

It did seem logical for her to go back to her family. But, she could’ve just visited them before leaving. Don’t expect God’s will to be found by doing things logically.

Orpah looked too closely at the problem instead of looking at the solution that would’ve solved her life’s problems. Because of this she bought more problems on herself than had she gone with Naomi.

Both she and Ruth were childless and nearing or already in their thirties. During that era people aged more rapidly than we do today. Most were only one drought away from dying, in other words.

It looks like she was someone that liked “pushing the easy button” to solve her problems. Maybe she was a narcissus and just wanted to look out for “number one” when life got stressful. Whichever it was it’s clear that Orpah had a shallow relationship with Jehovah.

For the rest of her life she engaged in ritualistic practices of a meaningless religion. Perhaps she had been dabbling in the occult all along. We don’t know that for certain. But the Apostle Paul saw this situation often and wrote these words:

"They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works..." Titus 1:16

Orpah needed to let go of her past. And seek a spirit-filled relationship with the living God. When we come to Jesus we must leave the old life we once lived behind. It’s in the past. The Apostle Paul wrote these words to Christians in about 56 A.D.:

"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin." Romans 6:6

A Brief Look At Ruth

Ruth, however, would not be swayed from leaving Naomi’s side. Instead of leaving she spoke these immortal words to Naomi:

"But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried." 1: 16,17

It sounds better in the King James Version, but I’ll let you read it in your favorite translation. I am trying to get to my main point, but a brief look at these two young women is well worth it in me pursuing my main idea of mental health wellness.

We have a lot to learn about Naomi by taking a look at Ruth. Why would this young woman even want to consider taking this dangerous journey? They could’ve died of thirst and/ or starvation. And how long would it take the two of them to walk or caravan approximately a hundred miles?

Naomi and Ruth had such a strong loyal bond between them that even the perils of this journey did not sway either of them from taking it. Neither of them sought to take the easy way out, in other words.

Ruth was not a shallow person. She had already became a Jewish convert in her heart. At the start of their journey she made a public profession of faith to Naomi.

"So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven," Mt 10:32

All of Naomi’s mentoring and teaching had taken root in Ruth’s heart, mind, and soul. Ruth knew that she could never again engage in or even want to be around pagan worship. She was a hundred percent in on her relationship with Jehovah.

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’" Mark 12:30

I, also see Ruth looking out for the older woman’s safety. She didn’t seem to be concerned about her own personal safety. She was someone who willingly “poured herself” out for the other person’s good. We see this later when she goes to the field in Bethlehem to gather barley that was left to the side for the poor people.  They only had what Ruth gathered in the fields, to make their daily bread.

 "And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, "'Let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain after him in whose sight I shall find favor.” And she said to her, “Go, my daughter.'” Ruth 2:2

Notice that Naomi didn’t go out into the fields to work. I think Ruth told her to rest in their little home and she would go out in the hot sun and gather barley. So Naomi instructed her on where to go to gather because it was customary to only go to a relative’s field for the leftover grain.

Well, this worked out well for several reasons. The owner of the field was a man named Boaz. He took notice of how this young foreigner took care of the older Jewish woman that lived with her. And that impressed him.

But Boaz answered her, “All that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me," Ruth 2:11

Naomi

Sometimes we bring on stress and disappointment in our lives because of our  short-sighted vision and actions. Or we get blind-sighted by events we didn’t expect. It seems like both situations took place here, but God turned their bad situation around to where it became something beautiful.

This can happen in your life as well if you seek God’s will for your life. As you do don’t expect everything to work out as you’ve planned it. God’s plans are higher than ours.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

(To be continued)

 

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Get Involved in Something Bigger Than Yourself

Do the holidays increase your level of depression? If so, then take the advice of therapists, that tell us to get involved with activities that make us feel positive about life. For me that would include being involved with activities my church sponsors that interest me.

One church connected activity I’ve enjoyed being involved with for the last three years is a community outreach Christmas Dinner that’s held at my church. I’ve “jumped in” and gotten involved in  whatever way I can with this “open door” invite at Webster Baptist Church, Webster, NC.

This community Christmas Day Dinner was started more than 10 years ago by the DeRico family. That would’ve been when Ken and Katrina DeRico’s two young adult children would’ve been quite young.

At that time they were just getting settled into living in the Smokey Mountains. They were new Floridan transplants that found themselves eating a big Christmas dinner by themselves away from their extended families.

That experience made them realize that the holidays can be a time of being away from family as well as having to choose which family to be with. And not everyone has family to spend the holidays with.

Within a year or two the DeRicos found and joined WBC of moving up here. Noticing our church has a well equipped kitchen, an idea began to form in Ken’s mind, “Why not cook a community wide Christmas Dinner at the fellowship building and visit with whoever shows up.” After all they are both great cooks so within a few years of them being up here they did just that.

I’m not sure Katrina said “Sure lets do it,” right off, but she found herself tripling her dressing recipe and wondering how many hams and turkeys they would need to buy for their first “Open Door Christmas Dinner.” After all, they found most people here had deep family roots here and probably celebrated Christmas with their extended families.

And, pray tell, how would they pay for it all?

Nevertheless, they were on a self directed mission “to visit orphans and widows in their affliction,” James 1:27 (ESV).

Now, leap forward ten plus years and below are some stats that their daughter Caitlin put up on her Facebook page. This is not to glorify them or any of the other sixty-plus volunteers that helped out for two prep days and also helped serve on Christmas Day.

Caitlin DeRico Snodgrass to Webster Christmas Outreach Dinner

We did it!

425 delivery and carryout
60 inmates got cookies
30 Sheriff  Deputies
4 Sylva PD
10 EMS
4  911 dispatch
20 Qualla FD station
30 Balsam Center
75 Hermitage Nursing Home received essentials stockings
50 Mountain Trace NH received essentials stockings
35 Skyland Care Center received essentials stockings & 2 personal gifts for 2  residents
At least 50 dined in.

“Thank you to ALL who made this possible!!! What a touching year and God continuing to show up and how!!!”

By now, Caitlin is the main organizer and scheduler. The bulk of us just show up on the days she posts for volunteers.

Now how did it all come together for them? Of course I don’t know the tiny details. But, I do know that they start in November cooking their kettle corn in WBC parking lot for  donations. Behind the scene one of them is going to all the grocery stores in town asking for donated food, which includes hams and turkeys.

They don’t ask for donations at the Christmas Dinner. All of that has been taken care of by then. There’s actually a flow of order to it all in it coming together at the right times. Nothing is overcooked and there is always plenty of it.

Of course, the dinner prep comes with a lot of anticipation and excitement every year.  Excitement in the air builds among the volunteers. And, everyone is excited about participating in it in someway.

Just being there raises my endorphins. Jumping in and helping out keeps me feeling that excitement for days later. One year we had Santa show up with his eight tiny reindeer! Okay, the reindeer were really his pickup truck but no one was disappointed with his visit.

I’ve gotten to meet so many great Christians in my church by just participating in various church connected events like this annual event. Friendships with a lot of different  people have opened up for me. This year my husband Jeff got involved with the Christmas Dinner and helped me take meals out to shut-ins.

I want to encourage you to get involved with volunteering or being involved someway with a need that’s bigger than your holiday blues. You’ll have great memories, make new friends, meet people who need you to just listen to them for a minute or two. You will become more involved in a world of happiness that’s bigger than your blues.

 

 

 

Living in the Gap of Expectations

  •  “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 ESV

How is living in the gap of expectations working out for you? Well, “what is the gap of expectations” you ask?

When you or I set out to accomplish a goal whether short lived or long range, our expectations are to arrive at that goal, right?

What if the goal is not the end result, though, despite your own best efforts? And, needless to say that others are going to disappoint us also. So, in the end, how well do you adjust to disappointment? Do you linger in an emotional “free-fall” going in and out of depression?

Or do you find yourself telling everyone, “I can handle it.” Or, “I’m fine.” If that’s true than good. But, I believe many of us say those cliches without really meaning it. We could be experiencing an emotional free-fall without fully realizing it.

There is a gap of emotional “free-fall” between expectations and the end result when our goals have not been met. Some of us adjust very quickly and re-prioritize our goals. That’s truly fantastic when it happens.  And I’m happy for you if you’re able to do that when you experience a failure, unexpected bad news, or that life just seems hard right now.

I’m, of course, writing to the ones that don’t easily adjust to the disappointing way of how things have turned out. Especially  when this happens, as it’s going to do, throughout parts of our lives. Not all the time, though, thank goodness.

We really don’t know what we can and cannot handle. It’s not just a cliche that we can be our own enemy. It’s true. And because it’s true, I think we end up self-medicating more than what we want to admit to. I’m guilty of that, too. But when disappointment happens we need to be spiritually and emotionally ready.

One thing that’s helped me the most in overcoming disappointments in my life is the Cognitive Behavior Therapy I’ve had over the last two and a half years on a bi-monthly basis.

Me being more fully engaged in my emotional well-being by going to therapy has helped me to see a more clearer perspective of my different life’s challenges. And it has increased my problem solving capabilities. Or put another way, I’ve learned to think “outside the box” of my own “self-thought” and “couple-thought” of my marriage.

Through the years I’ve tried group therapy and “dropping in” therapy; i.e. staying long enough to feel better then not going back.  And, my husband, Jeff and I have gone to marriage counseling, which we needed. I’m glad he willingly went with me. The end result of our couple counseling has been that Jeff was prescribed some anti-anxiety medication, which he still willingly takes. He says he feels better. And, he does communicate with me and now our extended family on a more positive note.

We wouldn’t have been able to figure out his particular issues all on our own. His past issues along with mine kept us “locking horns” over many issues throughout our four decades and counting marriage. The end result was usually anger, bitterness, and frustration.

Jeff is a “late” baby, and a “replacement” baby, born in 1952. His only living sibling was already married before he started school. And the middle sibling closest in age to him was several years older, passing away with a congenital heart disorder in his teens.

Jeff grew up nearly having an “only child” experience. As a result of that he “sub-consciously” expected to be pampered in his adult life, just like his mother had done during his childhood years.

In part, our childhood “shapes” who we turn out to be in our  adult years. The other part being our individual genetics.

Well, I’ll admit to doing my best to pamper him. That is part of a wife’s role in marriage. And, yes there have been times I’ve found doing this to be quite draining and I believe it added to my already low-grade of depression. But, I couldn’t see this situation clearly all on my own, and didn’t know the “why” of it all until we went to counseling.

Jeff’s mother was an angry, controlling person. She had a difficult personality, to say the least. But his dad was the opposite; he was mellow and pleased with all that he had accomplished in his life.

Both of his parents were about ten years older than my parents. Jeff’s mom was a teenager and his dad had just turned twenty when they married during the height of the Great Depression. My parents were married in their early twenty’s after WWII in 1946.

I was born in 1952, also. So he and I are both “baby boomers.” But I had an entirely different upbringing.  My parents were caring, but sometimes harsh throughout their lives. Plus, I’m the youngest of five children all born within a little more than six years. My dad wasn’t big on parenting us kids, leaving that responsibility to my mother.

My mom, worked hard to keep all of us “glued together” with wonderful meals, kept us three girls busy with cleaning the house, and she always kept an “outside the home” job, as well. There was always a lot of responsibility on my mother’s shoulders.

So when Jeff and I married in our mid-twenties we had different expectations of each other’s role in our lives from the beginning. And through the years, we haven’t always met each other’s expectations either.

All of my and our counseling efforts have had many good results, though. Another idea is to read some small portion of the Bible daily. You can go to Bible Gateway and find several plans to help you read through the Bible on a daily basis. I’ve done this for years and years through self-directed Bible studies. By now I don’t feel like my day is complete without reading at least a short devotion.  And pray often throughout your day.

“pray without ceasing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Above all else, don’t let anxiety rule your day and your life. Anxiety is normally the outflow of two root negative emotions: fear and anger. Solve those two emotions through counseling, medication when needed, Bible study, and prayer. Doing this will help you adjust to having a more positive outlook on life in spite of whatever life “throws” at you.

Taking this action will make life more pleasurable to you and those around you.

 

You Will “Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death” If You Follow The Instruction Book

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;” Psalms 23:4

Psalms 23 is short, but very powerful in it’s promises. I know these promises are true. Because I’ve lived them. I have tested many of God’s promises throughout my life. But, believe me I didn’t plan on testing God’s patience and love for me. Sometimes it just happened that way.

Fortunately though, my right choices have outweighed my bad ones along life’s way. But, I have walked through the “valley of the shadow of death,” perhaps more than I want to confess to.

Let’s take an in-depth look at Psalm 23 and learn how to apply these truths to our own lives. This is where the “rubber meets the road” in any Bible study. And in doing so I will share a little about my story.

You might not be familiar with the Bible. The Psalms are about right in the middle of the Bible. Most are beautifully phrased praises to God. Some hold promises and insight into letting us know of God’s direct involvement in our lives. A few Psalms are prophetic in announcing the Savior’s coming.

Okay, now I want to jump right in to Psalms 23. Verses 1-3 are all about what God is doing on our behalf when we seek after Him.

Verse 1 tells us that God is like a Shepard to us.  A Shepard will lay down his life for his sheep.

“I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.” John 10:11

Verse 2 tells us that God provides us with our needs in plentiful ways. And promises to give us rest.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28.

Verse 3 states that God restores us and guides us. Restoring has two parts to it. First we receive then we give.

The first part is where God restores us as individuals when we cry out to Him in our desperation:

“Restore us to You, O Lord, that we may be restored; Renew our days as of old,” Lamentations 5:21.

The second part is when we continue the work of restoration that God has done in our lives:

“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness;” Galatians 6:1

Verse three goes on to our letting God guide us throughout our daily lives.

Verse four is a turning point in this well loved Psalms. The new believer has gone through the exhilarating stages of a fresh or renewed walk with Christ. Now we’re being told that we will experience trials and our faith will be tested. Dark clouds are going to bring some storms of trouble into our lives. But there is an important promise within the warning. Let’s take a look at what it is:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalms 23:4

God will not let fear overcome us if we abide in Him. And He will send us comfort during our times of fear, anxiety, stress, disappointments, and any other attacks by Satan.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.” John 15:4

Why I Wrote About Psalms 23

The “valley of death” can also be translated as the “valley of darkness.”  Depression is darkness. And sometimes it can lead to a loved one not making it through the “valley of the shadow of death” only to commit suicide midway through that valley.

I’ve made it my mission to tell others my story of how I’ve overcome depression in hope that it will prevent someone from doing something drastic.

In 2007 I was going through a bout of depression. I’d struggle with depression on and off for most of my life. And I’ve talked with therapists many times before this so I knew that it was time for me to get back into counseling. I checked into an out-patient mental health facility here in my hometown. In the interview process I was diagnosed with dysthymic depression by one of the Peer Support Specialists that worked there.

Having that diagnoses was the beginning of my freedom from depression. First because I was finally correctly diagnosed. Having a correct diagnoses helped me to know why many of my days had dark clouds in them, and having that knowledge put me on a path to healing.

Of course my life isn’t perfect now, but I am happier and can deal with stress and disappointment more wisely because I have mental health tools that keep me from reacting negatively when bad things happen or are spoken to me; or because of a short sighted decision I’ve made.

During my time at the facility I went through ten months of group counseling that overlapped three months of individual peer counseling I received as well. After that I took a long break from receiving counseling. I felt fine and had made the changes that I knew I needed to make.

In early part of 2017 I  began gradually becoming intensely stressed. By early Spring my daughter, Esther encouraged me to go back to counseling. It’s odd that she sensed it first, because Esther lives on the West Coast and her dad and I live in Western North Carolina. Our oldest daughter Ruth lives about 30 miles from us and our middle daughter Rachel lives in Eastern North Carolina. But, “Es” has always been intuitive. And it paid off for me to listen to her.

That Spring I began receiving Cognitive Behavior Therapy counseling by a trained therapist. We decided I needed to come in on a weekly basis. The cost was minimal because I chose a therapist that was “in network.”

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is sometimes called “talk therapy.” It’s usually a one-on-one session. But sometimes a spouse or other family members can join the sessions.

Later my husband, Jeff joined me for these sessions. Sometimes we went weekly and sometimes we went bi-monthly. The therapist suggested at the beginning that he take a prescription for his anxieties. That has helped so much in our flow of couple communication. And we are still going to our therapist.

For some reason I always thought family members just had to live with having an anxious family member in the home. Too many med’s were addictive, so we didn’t look into him taking any. And Jeff not taking an anti-anxiety prescription created a lot of unneeded stress when our girls were in their teen years.

But in recent years medications for anxieties has been produced that are not habit forming.  And that’s the type Jeff takes now. I’m proud of him for admitting he needed both counseling, and medication in order to keep his anxieties in check. And we are still going to counseling at least a few times a month.

The rest of this Psalms speak of God’s presence in our lives. And that he is continually working on our behalf.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You [have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalms 23: 5,6.

Verse five describes being in God’s will is like enjoying a banquet while our enemies can only look on. Unless they know God and seek His guidance than they can’t enjoy His banqueting table.

It’s really up to us believers to go find the “lost” and invite them in to also enjoy being in the presence of God. This, I believe, is our anointing and our calling.

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19, 20.

Verse six brings this beautiful sermon to a close with God’s assurance that we, as individuals, are loved by our heavenly Father. And that we also are to be known by our loving kindness.

Too many in the church have confused condemnation with conviction. It’s difficult to bring someone to Christ by condemning them. We bring people to Christ by our loving kindness. Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit.

Throughout my childhood and adult years I’ve put up with the condemning words of others. So, I know what I’m talking about here.

I’ll let the Apostle John have the last words on this subject:

“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” John 3:17

*All Bible quotes are from the New American Standard Bible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Depressed?

Sometimes depression sneaks up on us. It slips in the unguarded back door of our psyche like a thief. Depression seeks to rob us of having good stable mental health. Don’t fight this enemy on your own. Seek professional help if you are struggling with depression.

How do you know if you’re struggling with depression? To an observant close family member or friend the answer seems self-evident. But the sufferer is often the last one to recognize or admit that she or he is struggling with depression.

My realization that I was struggling with dysthymic depression came about by my going to a community mental health clinic (mhc) in my small town. I was assigned a peer specialist.

My Peer Specialist had worked as “floor staff” in mental health institutions for more than twenty years. Through our weekly talks he had pin-pointed the type of depression I’ve had since my teen years. Even though he was limited to what type of therapy he could offer, he still recognized what I was experiencing, and gave it a name. And him doing that was the “key” that opened the door for me to receive the right kind of mental-emotional wellness therapy.

He suggested I attend some of the group therapy programs that the mhc offered. That sounded good to me so I started with WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). From there I went on to attend their other classes. My going there lasted about ten months. That was in 2007-2008. I felt great and had made several changes that I needed to make that came out of the one-on-one I was receiving and the weekly group therapy as well.

I’ve since gone back to therapy. Currently I’m seeing a licensed therapist. She uses Cognitive Therapy techniques, which have been very effective for me.

There are different types of depression, though. These are listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). That’s the “Bible” for finding out about personality disorders. This is a thick reference book that gets updated when new research information becomes available. Most of us don’t own a DSM-5, but any reputable website on mood disorders would reference this book along with experts in the field of cognitive development.

The DSM-5 does list depression as a mood disorder. The different types of depression are: Major, dysthymia (melancholy) depression, dysphoric (which includes PMS), and Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD). These are the most common ones, at least.

If you think you might be suffering from long term sadness, then get a thorough checkup by your physician. Include a blood test. That test will reveal if you are low in Vitamin D or other essential vitamins. Also, a blood test will reveal any health problem or blood related diseases such as Hepatitis C. Fortunately, most of my adult life I’ve had a yearly physical.

Let your doctor know that you’re struggling with “dark moods.”  He or she might suggest a certain medication, such as an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake) to help lift your moods. There are multiple new ones available to help people overcome depression that are less or not addictive than the old meds.

I’ve found that “Talk Therapy”  (Cognitive Therapy) is best for me. So, I’ve been able to avoid taking medication for depression. But I do take certain supplements every day that help lift my moods. I’ll discuss supplements later. I’ll only say that supplements can get expensive. And you’ve got to know which ones work best for you. By all means, start by talking with your primary care physician.

Please consider going to a Behavioral Health Center like I did. They offer mental health counseling that includes the family if needed. Ask to see the therapist on staff there. Let him/her know that you’re feeling depressed even if it’s just some of the time.

The cost of going to these Mental Health Centers (aka: MHC) is often free. They have group counseling classes that are designed to inform and guide you into making wise choices. Also, like me, you’ll get to have a “peer support specialists” that will talk one-on-one with you.

If you need to detox from illegal drugs or over medicating then most of these mental health counseling centers are connected to a detox unit. If you can’t control your intake of alcoholic beverages on a regular basis, then please check into a detox unit. Most problems are fixable. It just takes you being a part of your solution, not a part of the problem.

Finally, be honest with yourself. Have you had thoughts about self-harm and/or had suicidal inclinations?

If you’re feeling suicidal or need to talk to someone immediately, then please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Don’t put your loved ones through the agony of you making a tragic decision.

There are often reasonable and successful solutions to our emotional health problems. It just takes us seeking those solutions in the right places.

Leaving A Comfortable Prison

A few years ago, I had a clear and unforgettable vision. It probably lasted about thirty seconds. I know that because I was driving a familiar stretch of road near my home at the time of my vision.

In the vision:

I saw myself being let out of a jail cell that was at the end of a long hallway. As I walked up the hallway, I saw that in each cell there was a person in anguish.

There were no cell doors, though. When I got to the exit, I paused and asked the jailer, “When did you remove the cell doors?”

 “There never were cell doors. Any of you could’ve left anytime you wanted to.” He said.

With that I walked out into the beautiful brightness of a warm sunny day.

Explanation of My Vision

In the fullness of the vision I realized that our emotional wellness is up ourselves. Seeking professional help needs to be a part of our healing.

But, instead of receiving counseling, we substitute with other activities making our cells of unneedful mental anguish as comfortable as possible. We include our addictions, our self-medicating habits, our overindulgences. We include people who are emotionally harmful to us into our lives.

Or we just exist and don’t seek emotional healing at all. Like me you’ve probably tried a few of the above ideas. Some of us almost are experts on “what not to do.”

Therapy is one of the best ways we have in leaving a lifestyle where we’ve been emotionally disconnected, maligned, misdiagnosed, and/or self-medicated. A lifestyle that can cause our ruin.  

Leave your unraveling/mending/unraveling mental health issues behind, today. Step out into God’s bright warm sunlight and start searching for positive mental wellness. It’s what I’ve done, and it’s helped me in achieving my mental-wellness goal.

Life can have its places of stark wilderness that we’ll all travel through at various times in our lives. Your efforts toward your own mental wellness is going to be up to you. I hope that I’ve helped in some small or great way in you achieving your mental-emotional-wellness.